have you ever loved something? not like a person of thing, but a hobby or job? ever loved it so much that you thought you couldn't live without it? something you loved so much that everything and everyone you ever cared about died or left, but if you still had this you'd be able to survive? when you do this thing you feel completely satisfied. the sun rises and sets on you when you are doing this thing. this is what love is. when you do this, you are perfect. but this thing isn't something you can be good at just because you love it. so you feel inadequate a great deal of the time. unfulfilled. empty. you feel like you could never live up to the greatness that your love deserves.

don't you hate when that happens. it sucks. it fully and absolutely sucks, because you feel like you have no control over it. but somehow, i will make this work...